Dress: ASOS [go down a size as this runs oversized and is long, so it’s perfect for you tall girlfriends!] | Sunglasses: Fendi | Bag: Tory Burch | Lipstick: Bella | Shoes: Booties
Photography by: Angie Garcia
Maybe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed or maybe you’re going through a breakup and you haven’t been feeling like yourself. Regardless of where you are at in life, we all have days where we just don’t feel happy. I’m a firm believer that emotions are based on circumstances and joy is a state of the heart. If you are filled with joy, you can always be happy, but that isn’t to say circumstances won’t affect you emotionally in any capacity. We are human and we’ll always unintentionally hurt others and vice versa. One thing we can do? We can control our reactions.
This might be a little different than what I normally post, but today I thought I’d share 10 ways to be happier and little tricks I follow for days that I simply want to curl up, watch Netflix and eat one too many Oreos! 
1. Say No to Something
Typically, when I’m unhappy it’s because I’m overwhelmed or maybe even feel taken advantage of by someone or some commitment. Whenever that happens my husband is so helpful and always just says, “Let’s say no to something.” As a Christian I truly believe my word should be taken seriously and my “no should be no” and “yes should be yes.” How can people trust God if they can’t trust someone that loves God? However, there are times you have to just stop the people pleasing and say no. I’ll go through my planner and maybe postpone a lunch or even cancel some weekend plans. It’s not to be flaky, it’s to gain a sense of control and stop spreading myself so thin. Be sure when you do it to explain to the person why you’re having to take a step back, ask if you can reschedule and always apologize. When you’re honest with a person, they’ll respect that and chances are they will 100% understand where you are coming from! Once your schedule feels lighter you can feel lighter and have a bit more clarity to think.
2. Turn Your Phone on Airplane Mode
Do I sound like a hermit or what? My first two suggestions: back out of plans and run away from the cell phone! Haha. It’s not that, it’s just that our phones always go off at inconvenient times. I know for me, I’ll be upset over something and if my mom calls and I answer I don’t want to take it out on her because that’s not her fault! Another reason I say to turn your phone on airplane mode is because it’s so easy to just grab your phone, scroll through Instagram and start comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy and when you’re feeling down you don’t need to be looking at someone’s highlight reel because that is truly all social media is! I don’t post to Snapchat every time I get a nasty e-mail and I don’t tweet when I know I hurt someone and need to apologize. There’s enough negativity out there, who needs to add to it? But because of that, social media can sometimes seem “overly positive” and not realistic. So just turn that phone on silent and know that we all have bad days whether we post about them or not, and I promise you will get through yours!
3. Give to Someone Else
If I’m in a funk for a few days, the best medicine is for me to stop thinking about myself! Self-centeredness is a one-way ticket to unhappiness and it helps to always stop thinking of my problems and how they make me feel. Volunteer, send someone a letter, donate special items to a women’s shelter or send flowers to a girlfriend. Whenever I think of someone else and what they are going through I immediately stop thinking of what is causing me and my selfish heart to be unhappy.
4. Declutter Your Space
When I’m feeling unhappy I like to focus on things I can control and a space that makes me feel at ease. Maybe that’s your bedroom or your living room or even your kitchen. Take an hour, clean, declutter and remove unwanted items or things that don’t make you feel joy. It’s a quick task that will automatically have you feeling less stressed, more accomplished will take your mind off of your problems at hand.
5. Make Plans with Like-Minded People
This one might sound odd but we all have friends that we are different than and we all have friends that can finish our sentences. Whenever you’re down, just go grab lunch with someone that is similar to you. Sometimes you need to vent and you need someone to have that similarity and view the situation in your perspective. Don’t get me wrong, you need the other perspective just as much! But I think there are two steps to healing: the acknowledgement and the growth. First, you need someone to acknowledge you are hurting as opposed to playing devil’s advocate and helping you suck it up. If you’re going on 6 months of a breakup, you may need the tough love friend [but it’s all relative to the relationship of course!]. However, if something is fresh to you in your mind and your heart, you just need some TLC and maybe even someone to baby your heart. I have those friends that think differently than me and trust me, there are so many times I need them. I need someone to say, “But why didn’t you view it this way?” or “I don’t think they were being rude, Katey. I think you’re being overly sensitive.” All I’m getting at is that if someone or something made you cry an hour ago, go grab lunch with your most supportive, similar girlfriend and vent. We all need that girlfriend to hug us and say, “I don’t know why that happened, but it sucks that that happened and I feel for you.” Sometimes having someone validate your emotions right after they feel bruised is just what you need. But be careful with this and don’t stick to only having them validated. We all have times when that isn’t appropriate, but you get the idea!
6. Buy Some Flowers, Grab a Coffee and Pick Up a New Book
You know those “me time” errands we love to do? Grabbing an indulgent latte, picking up peonies, getting an overpriced car wash and losing yourself in a book store? If you’re having a bad day, do that! Sometimes staying in the house and sulking can be the worst thing and fresh sunshine always does a girl good. Get away from your responsibilities for a few hours and just enjoy the things you love! I’m convinced that is why I go to Homegoods at least 2 times a week! Pregnancy hormones are real, y’all. Pregnancy hormones are real. 😉
7. Call Your Grandmother
Call your Nana. Call your Meme. Call your Gigi. Call your Honey. Call your Grandma. Whatever her name might be, just call her! Maybe you have a special relationship with an aunt or maybe it’s your grandmother, but look to someone older, wiser and that loves you unconditionally. I always get the best advice from my grandmothers because they’ve been through everything I have 10x over and they are far enough removed from a situation [whether it be work or friends] that they can give unbiased advice. Sometimes my mom might be a bit biased because she hears more about things that upset me or is closer to the people or situations in my life.
8. Ask Yourself One Question
I don’t follow Dr. Laura, but she does say, “Ask yourself, was it a bad day? Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?” I’m not saying those five minutes weren’t rough. Five minutes is all it takes to break up, mess up at work or have a huge session of word vomit. But sometimes we have to look at things in time because it helps us to see how quickly we can get over it. If I had one bad work e-mail that took me five minutes to read, it can affect me. Words hurt, trust me. But at the end of the day, it was five minutes. It was just one e-mail. It was one person’s opinion. That’s not what God thinks of me. It’s not what my husband thinks of me. It’s not what my parents think of me. It’s not what my friends think of me. And 99.9% of my readers don’t think those things of me. Remember if someone goes out of their way to hurt you for 5 minutes, it’s because they have a lot more than 5 minutes of pain going on in their life! Hurting people hurt people. So whenever something that hurts happens in under 5 minutes it can be a good reminder that in 5 more minutes something just as powerful, but in a positive direction can happen.
9. Plan Something
Most of the time when we are upset it’s because something affected us that was out of our control. It wasn’t fair and there isn’t much we can do about it, we can only control how we react. I say take that control back and put it towards something fun like a plan you wouldn’t normally do. Plan a fancy dinner with girlfriends. Plan your next vacation. Or even just plan your schedule next week and throw in a manicure so you feel more calm. By taking the initiative to show yourself that you are in control of some aspects in life [not everything!] you can remind yourself that you’re also in control of how you respond to that person or situation.
10. List The Things You Are Proud Of
I shared in my 2017 resolutions that I don’t make numerical goals for my blog. It’s because if I do hit them, I’m still never proud of myself. Those types of goals don’t satisfy me. I think, “Great, I SHOULD have accomplished that. Now I need to do this!” That kind of self talk where you expect yourself to accomplish things leaves little to be celebrated. Make a list of 10 things you are proud of yourself for and it certainly doesn’t have to be work related! We always write down things we need to do, but seldom do we write down the wonderful things we have done. Acknowledge your worth. Acknowledge that you are smart. You are kind. And you are important. [#favoritemovieever]
Lastly, remember that like I said before emotions are circumstantial. Something good will happen tomorrow that will cause you to be happy. And something will upset you next month as well. We have to focus on joy and what gives us that [for me that is my relationship with Christ] because that can never be taken from us! I’d love to know any ways you focus on being happier!
What a good post! Thanks for sharing! <3
http://solovelybysophie.blogspot.com
Thank you so much for reading! xo
This is SO good! I seriously love when you post blogs like this because it feels like I’m sitting here talking with a friend instead of reading a “stranger’s” blog! Thank you for these reminders on a crazy Friday morning!
Aw thank you!! That truly means more to me than you know because I always view readers as friends. When I read e-mails or comments I just always envision it is a girlfriend! haha. Hope you have a wonderful weekend! xo
Great ideas! I love planning things – makes me instantly feel more organised (even when I’m not!).
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Thank you girl! I completely agree, it’s the one way I can “pretend” i have my act together! 😉
Loved this! Especially #8! It’s so easy to get caught up on the smallest things, I do this all the time. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and tips <3
Absolutely! Whenever I realize the offense or issue only took 5 minutes of my time I feel a little silly getting so worked up and it helps me snap right back to where I was! 🙂 xo
#3, #4, #5 were my favorites, but I couldn’t agree more with the entire post!
Thank you for sharing your favorites girl! I hope you have a wonderful weekend. xo
This is going to be bookmarked for sure! I admit I am a sensitive person and can easily get hurt feelings or be annoyed over something because I expect everyone to be considerate (#virgoproblems) and it can be hard for me to get out of that negative, icky space. #8 will be added to my list of mantras. SOOOOO needed this in my life! Terrific post 🙂
I’m so sensitive, too! I tell my mom all the time it’s because I was an only child for almost 8 years! haha! I am like, “Mom, I didn’t have siblings to hurt my feelings yet!” But I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older to not feel guilty for being sensitive. I always appreciate my sensitive friends because they are so cautious not to hurt others and I think it sometimes rubs off on other people to think the same way. 🙂 Thank you so much for reading!!
I was watching your Snapchat yesterday talking about how excited you were about this post and it got me so excited! You have such a good heart and ( even though we don’t know each other ) I think you and I are very similar and I always agree with what you say and your opinions 100%! When I was younger I used to get bullied badly because I have dark red hair ( which I am OBSESSED with now ) but it was different and you know kids are mean if you are different. But anyways! I used to get so sad and so stressed about that and those mean kids that I started to not be able to handle any kind of stress or negativity at all. One little thing would happen and I would end up making myself sick. Like actually throwing up from the stress. Talk about unhealthy! One of my teachers in 9th grade told me, “nothing will last forever, especially if you don’t want it to” and that has stuck with me! It’s so true! Those mean kids are still unhappy and still mean. Why would you want to live like that?! Being happy is so much better.
Those days where it’s just impossible seeming to be happy though, I clean, take huge deep breaths with my stomach until my anxiety calms down, buy myself some flowers, and read a book!
Same as you! We are similar! Haha
Anyways, thanks for sharing. I always love everything you post about.
XO, Madison.
Hi Madison! Oh no!!! 🙁 I’m so sorry you would make yourself sick, I can totally empathize with that! And why are kids so mean?! I fear that with a kid! The one day my daughter cries because of another kid I just will be beside myself. 🙁 But it’s so true like you said! And I can’t believe they made fun of your for red hair. Both Paul and I have grandmothers with red hair so secretly I think he wants our little one to be a red head! haha. He keeps saying, “I bet she will have red hair!” It’s so stunning and I’m a blonde so I hate the maintenance of it and hope my daughter doesn’t have blonde hair to deal with that! haha. Anyways, thank you so much for reading and sharing your story. Means so much to me!
Love this, love COF, love your darling little self and most of all, I love your heart after Christ. Happy Friday!
Ahh! And I love readers like you! Thank you so much for your kind words! xo
Loved this post!! My favorite was #3 – thank you for sharing!! (And LOVE this look on you!)
Thank you so much girl!! These sunglasses were so fun to style, I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Love this, it really is the little things that make us happier most of the time. If only I could learn how to say “no” and not feel guilty. A work in progress!
I’m the same way! Still learning to say no without my husband helping me, but it’s a process! My mom is the same as me, but now that she is in her fifties she is great at saying no and I hope I become the same!
This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you for sharing the positivity!
Thank you for reading!!! xo
You are just precious! Thank you so much for sharing your heart and being such an encouragement.
XOXO,
Jenny
You’re so sweet to take the time to read, I truly appreciate it! 🙂
I love all these tips! I think in marriage especially it’s so important to not hold on to bad days. My husband is so go with the flow and can forget about anything that hurt so quickly because he has an amazing ability to put everything in perspective, while I am the opposite and he will call me out frequently when I let a small thing ruin a day. It is annoying at the time haha but I know he is right.
One line I read recently on Cupcakes and Cashmere where she was talking about not over-thinking things was this: “Is it something you’re going to remember a year from now?” She was saying that if it is, then you can be upset about it and indulge in overthinking, but most likely it isn’t and so we shouldn’t let those things affect us. I thought that was such a good test!
My husband is the exact same way!! He is so go with the flow and I tell him all the time, “I just pray our daughter has your personality!” Because I can just fester on something for days and he just doesn’t care about something after 5 minutes. It’s such a good skill to have. So incredibly true! What doesn’t matter a year from now doesn’t deserve our stress! Thank you so much for reading girl! 🙂 xo
Thanks for sharing this! I’ve been struggling with ways to feel happier with the current stressors in life and I’ve been implementing some of your suggestions already! But I will definitely try to incorporate the others as well. This post came at JUST the exact time I needed it. Talk about divine intervention 🙂
Aw! I’m so glad this post could be at a good time for you, I love when that works out. And thank you so much for reading, I hope you have a wonderful weekend! xo
Thank you for this post, definitely saving it! It’s just exactly what I’ve been needing to read! ???? I love these tips and how you are able to find positivity in not so positive situations! ????
Hampton
It’s definitely a work in progress and something I hope to get better at! But baby steps one day at a time! 🙂 Thank you for reading! xo
Hi Katey! I have been following you for a while, and I have to say, this is one of my favorite posts. I know we all struggle with this, and I love your ideas. Thank you!
Aw thank you so much for your loyalty as a reader, that means more than you will ever know! xo
You are seriously going to be the best mom! You are so thoughtful and sincere. I love this post and definitely needed it! I do love to clean and organize things when I’m upset, so that usually works for me! Thanks for sharing!!
Thank you girl! 🙂 I can’t wait for her to be here!!
This was suck a great post!! Remembering that our happiness is in our control is so important! I love these personal/lifestyle posts and I think a lot of people who read blogs love and appreciate them as well. Also… I have the same booties and styled them with a LDB as well! LOL I had it on my blog on Wednesday if you want to look that would make my day! Thank you for being a blogger and don’t let anyone tear you down. What you do has value!
Thank you so much! I love sprinkling these posts throughout and truly enjoy writing them! Ah! Aren’t these booties the best?! Will definitely check out your post! xoxo
I LOVED this post so much! All of your tips were great. For me some of my negative emotions are hormone related and I have to remind myself why I’m feeling that way and put it in perspective. I especially loved the last paragraph about joy. So true and a great reminder that no one can take that away. Thanks for sharing!
I love these tips! Definitely need to work on incorporating them into my daily routine!
xoxo,
Katie
chicincarolina.blogspot.com
Thank you for sharing this. I REALLY needed it today!!! I know you are going to be such a great mother. God bless you and your family!
Yes! Definitely need to turn my phone on airplane mode more often!
BlondieInTheCity.com
Katey, As always I love your posts! Especially this one! It was a much needed read that I will incorporate into my life! Thanks for being you.
Nicole
XO
Ps. I had a dream I knew your daughters name and I was like I cannot tell ANYONE! Haha 🙂
I loved this post. These are such good ideas! Thank you so much for sharing, Katey!
xx, Taylor | http://www.thestyledpress.com
This is a great post, Katey! Thank you so much for sharing these tips! I’m always trying to clean or organize something when I’m feeling down. It makes me feel like I have more control over the situation. Same with planning. This Type A, OCD, planner needs to feel like she’s in control!! LOL 😉 I also really like the idea of giving to someone else. I’m always the last one to open presents at Christmas because I like to watch everyone else open theirs first. It gives me joy to see the looks on their faces! Have a great day!
~Hillary
http://www.styleinasmalltown.com
These are such great tips! I put several of these into play with my own life. Happiness is a choice!
xx Kathryn
http://www.chicandshimmer.com
Great tips! LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! Oh how right you are <3
http://livelifefullyalive.com/
WOW! Thank you for this amazing post. It was just what my heart needed! I can’t wait to put these tips into action in my life. I am looking forward to seeing all the pictures of your little girl. Wishing you the best of luck!