Take a Compliment with Kopari

Coconut Skincare Essentials {c/o} | Starter Kit

A few weeks ago, one of my girlfriends did what all true friends do, she called me out.

We both had daughters around the same time and we were talking about toddler life and how they keep us busy. She looked at me and said, “Katey, you look so good!”

And I did what 90% of women do, I ignored the compliment and used it as an opportunity to negatively talk about myself.

I said, “Jade, I seriously do not! You run all the time, and I am SO soft! I need to run more.

I expected her to either move the conversation along or just mention how it’s always a pain to motivate ourselves to run more. Instead, she said, “Katey, you need to learn to take a compliment. Maxi is watching you.”


I thought about her words for days and couldn’t shake them. First and foremost, I’m raising a daughter and she is watching everything I do and say. And while I may think I’m just deflecting attention from myself or being funny and self-deprecating, I’m teaching her that it’s not good to accept compliments. I started to envision Maxi doing the same, but with different words.

I envisioned her coloring in a few years and me saying, “Maxi, you are such a great artist!” 

If she were mimicking me, she would say, “No, Mama. I really need to be better about coloring in the lines.” 

I pictured her elementary aged and me saying, “Maxi, your story is wonderful! You are so creative.”

“No, Mama. It took me days to think of that and I spelled words wrong.” 

I kept seeing that replay over and over in my head and it crushed me. Why do we as women deflect compliments? Is this learned behavior? Is this a habit after years of negative self-talk? Is it because we think it makes us look humble? I’m sure it is a combination of many factors, but I want to raise my daughter differently.

As a blogger, I receive dozens of campaigns in my inbox a day. Many wonderful brands are always seeking powerful initiatives. I opened my inbox and saw Kopari was sharing about their “Learn How to Take a Compliment” initiative, look at this cute video they made. I was already religiously using the Coconut Lip Glossy {I shared it in my monthly faves here}, so I decided to buy the travel set for our Disney trip and see what the line was all about. I’d purchased a lot of their body products before, but never skincare, so this was a first for me.

I finished the set I purchased and I really enjoyed it! It’s a toxin-free line that is simple, easy to use, and cruelty-free! Peaches had to make a cameo. 😉

My favorites that I tried?!

  • Hands down, my favorite was the Coconut Rose Toner. I’m very into rose-infused anything {from tea to oils} and my girlfriend, Amy Beth, swears up and down by Rose Toner. She keeps some in her purse at all times. It feels a little Elle Woods spritzing your face all day, but it has witch hazel to prevent blemishes, and rose and lavender to soothe skin. You can spritz it after you cleanse like a toner, but I also kept some in my diaper bag at Disney and would spray throughout the day. If I felt sweaty from running around or a little gross after a few rides, I used this and felt clean!
  • You also already know I have been a fan of the Coconut Lip Glossy. It’s a non-sticky gloss that also heals chapped lips. It makes your lips look so full. I’m now on my 3rd tube I have purchased. I feel like my lips look more plump with this than they do with a plumping {and irritating!} lip gloss.
  • The Coconut Cleansing Oil is probably the product that impressed me most because I didn’t originally think it would do much. When my starter kit set came in the mail, I tested this on my wrist. It’s a thin oil and I thought, “Eh, this would work well for someone that doesn’t have a lot of makeup on.” But let’s be honest, I live for some mascara. I only brought this cleanser to Disney, so I was a bit worried I’d be borrowing my sister’s makeup wipes, too. This got everything off in one cleanse! I was very impressed. And if you are worried about cleansing with an oil, don’t. It’s an antibacterial oil made to detoxify skin, so it’s going to fight breakouts not encourage them.

If you have a younger daughter that is interested in skincare, if you want an easy system that isn’t difficult to remember, if you want something gentle, or if you just want something filled with the goodness of coconut oil {we put it on everything}, give it a try! You may get some compliments. 😉

But ultimately, let’s accept our compliments and instead of feeling awkward, give two back in return! Let’s teach the next generation that we can have self-love and not be selfish. The next time someone compliments you, accept it with grace, thank them and uplift them as well.

photography by: Madison Katlin | In collaboration with Kopari, all opinions are my own!

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  1. Awww, the scenarios you imagined with Maxi makes me sad, but they certainly made me think – we, as women, criticise ourselves and play down our strengths way too often! You’re right, we need to learn to accept compliments more!

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

    Published 20 Jun 18Reply
  2. Allie wrote:

    That lipgloss sounds so perfect for summer! My lips get so dry and chapped, I’m always looking for makeup that adds moisture. I also love hat the brand is gentle and full of such amazing ingredients!

    Published 20 Jun 18Reply
  3. Mikayla Gideon wrote:

    My husband always gets so upset when I dismiss his compliments. It’s never felt right to accept them! I needed to hear that I’m not the only one that struggles with that. This has encouraged me to do better! Thank you!

    Published 20 Jun 18Reply
  4. Brooke Scott wrote:

    Thank you so much for this! I, too, find it hard to accept a compliment and I hope to be a mama one day so I’d want her to feel encouraged and thankful for any compliments she receives. You’re a great mama and Maxi is lucky to have you! Thank you for constantly posting such uplifting and real posts.


    Also – where are you jeans from in this post? Love them!

    Published 20 Jun 18Reply
  5. Catherine R. wrote:

    I am so bad about doing this with compliments. If someone says something positive about my kids I always agree and say something like “I know they are mine and I am biased but you’re right! They are beautiful” but if someone compliments me I struggle to even say thank you. I want my children to be confident in themselves and I really need to do a better job of leading by example. We tell our son he’s always being an example to his little sister but he needs to decide if he wants to be a good one or a bad one. I need to follow my own directions! Thank you for this gentle reminder to be better to ourselves.

    Published 20 Jun 18Reply
  6. Love that last paragraph. “We can have self-love and not be selfish”. I feel like as a Christian woman especially it can be a double edged sword – we want to be humble and not haughty but at the same time we are made uniquely in the image of Christ! I saw a quote one time that really hit me and it said something to the effect of how much it must hurt God’s feelings when we down-talk ourselves, essentially telling Him that what He made wasn’t good enough. Do we really think that?! I bet not! It’s just a mechanism that we picked up somewhere to deflect compliments. But instead if we think of them in that light, we can take them so much more graciously!

    Also love the idea to take the compliment and then give out two. Even when people deflect or act embarrassed, the truth is that compliment stays with them and makes them smile later!

    xo Mary-Katherine

    Published 20 Jun 18Reply
  7. Drew wrote:

    What an amazing post! Katey, you are such a wonderful light
    in the internet world! I’m sure you are a great light to your family, as well. Thank you for the encouragement!

    Published 20 Jun 18Reply
  8. Daria EDU wrote:

    Your blog is always like a breath of fresh air!
    Thank you so much for sharing, girl. You are truly amazing and inspirational.
    Keep it up <3 and have an awesome week.


    Published 20 Jun 18Reply
  9. Jamie wrote:

    I love this! I’m subscribed to your posts and I read this in my email and I really wanted to come here and comment how much I loved this message. Especially to teach the next generation who are already watching us. It’s definitely something I need to work on, and I’ve gotten a similar message from a lot of different people lately that women need to be nicer to other women but that also includes being nicer to ourselves. Aka taking a compliment 🙂 Great post as always!

    Published 20 Jun 18Reply
  10. I’ve heard so many great things about Kopari! Need to get my hands on their lip balm <3


    Published 21 Jun 18Reply
  11. Joy wrote:

    Love this blog post! It reminded me of a video I have saved on FB. The link is below!


    If the link doesn’t work it’s from a page called “Little Things” and the video title is “Truth Bomb Mom: Things We Tell Ourselves”!

    Watch it until the end 🙂

    Published 21 Jun 18Reply