John 15:19

I had had a post planned today for style inspiration, but something was pressing on my heart and I thought that clothes and outfit ideas could be pushed back. 

If you’ve followed me on instagram for any amount of time you have probably noticed one little trait about me: I am a people pleaser. 

At Mi Cocina over the usual chips and queso, Kristin said it best. “You could be in the hospital, having a conference call with a client [fyi, guys, I still work in PR. I just don’t show every facet of it, because it isn’t as pretty as clothes] late for an appointment and if I asked you to happy hour, you would say yes.” 

She’s completely right. I let other’s feelings and emotions dictate my actions. 

At church we have been studying the book of James. Want to know where your sin is? Read that. I’ve been asking God to truly show me my sin and where I need to fix it. He has been blaring this one at me and I haven’t even noticed until this week. 

“If you belonged to this world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to this world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” John 15:19

If you ask my close friends, family or boyfriend what I talk to them about the most it is this. I am constantly worried about making everyone happy from Instagram comments and questions to friendships in real life. I will go out of my way to guess what people want me to do, and then when it falls through I question what I did wrong. 

I wanted to share this verse and something I struggle with not to tell you, “Never judge me because I will get upset” but rather to share something I think we all combat to a certain degree. We all want the world to love, welcome and accept us. It won’t happen. However, there is only one who will love us no matter what and accept us with His grace. 

We will never please everyone because the world has a yearning that nothing secular can fill. We degrade and complain about others simply because we think, “If I put this person down, it will fill me up.” I’m here to tell you, even if you aren’t a believer and somehow have read through this post, nothing will fill you except the love of Christ. We were made to not be whole, and only find fulfillment through him.

It is so easy [especially in my industry] to get consumed with the titles we have and how we pleased people to get those. For example, companies want to work with you by how many comments people leave agreeing with what you posted. We are given the titles of “style influencers” with a talent for writing. The only title that will ever matter is that we are a chosen people, a royal priesthood under God[1 Peter 2:9]. We are distracted by “pleasing” and “numbers” and therefore, forget God has given us talent to be used for him. There is no greater tragedy than talent without purpose, and at the end of my day, I know my purpose is to help other girls feel good about themselves while sharing his love for them. 

I’m really thankful that I’ve been given this opportunity with a job in which I do get scrutinized and made aware of how it is impossible to please everyone. It has opened my eyes to my flaws and obsession with people pleasing, while allowing me a platform to share it with you all. I know I’ve always characterized my people pleasing as just being “southern.” I’ve thought I would put other’s needs above my own, when in reality I’m seeking gratification and acceptance from this world, as opposed to Christ. That acceptance will never come because this world is not my home.

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  1. Kasie wrote:

    I needed this. I have the same little obsession and it’s something that God pointed out to me at a retreat I went to 2 weeks ago, and saying a little prayer in those situations has really turned things around. Thank you for posts like these.

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  2. Amanda wrote:

    Beautifully written. Thank you so much for sharing!

    xo Amanda
    XO Strawberry Chic

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  3. Anonymous wrote:

    Love this post! You have a beautiful heart! xo

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  4. Love this post!

    XO Bianca

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  5. Totally resonates with me- I’m the same way! Definitely my biggest fault that I rarely know how to say no & care so much about making everyone happy! <3 You are not alone, dear!

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  6. I have a close friend like this; she started having anxiety attacks because she was all over the place, being such a sweetheart to any and everyone. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that pleasing everyone is not a realistic goal, especially if it hurts your own well-being. This is a great perspective to approach this subject on; I hadn’t really looked at how this all relates to Him. Thanks, Katey!

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  7. This is beautiful….I really needed to read this….thank you for being brave and posting it!! <3 Hugs Katey!

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  8. Anonymous wrote:

    Wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed this.

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  9. Great post Katey! Be true to yourself

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  10. Lauren W wrote:

    This was so insightful KM! I really liked it!! Do more haha.

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  11. Kiera Wade wrote:

    Katey I enjoyed your post! It brought me to tears. It is sooooo good and refreshing to see a someone (in particular a blogger) talk so openly about God. I know He has even greater things for you! Praying that God elevates you even higher as you keep Him first. You inspire me so much, I am a black girl and I think that you rock!!

    Published 20 Aug 14Reply
  12. Awesome post! And yes, the book of James is definitely “in your face”. Love your blog, so keep up the good work!!

    Published 21 Aug 14Reply
  13. Rebekah wrote:

    This is exactly what I needed!! I have been thinking about my people pleasing a lot lately, so this could not have come at a better time for me! No better way it could have been written, and no better Bible verses that could have been used. So thankful you posted this!

    Published 23 Aug 14Reply
  14. This could not have come at a better time. Thanks for putting yourself out there, Katey.

    Published 26 Sep 14Reply