5 “Southern-isms” My Mother Taught

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It’s no secret, I am a mama’s girl. My mom is my very best friend and we are the same person! In our family it’s so funny because I look like my dad and my sister looks like my mom but we have the opposite parent’s personality. My sister is incredibly independent, total extrovert and if you told her she needed to move halfway across the world tomorrow she’d say, “Sounds great! Wherever the Lord wants me!”

I’m the total opposite. I’m a homebody that needs her mom! My mom and dad live about 15-20 minutes away from Paul and I and every week since we’ve been married I call and beg them to move closer.

My mom was always the ringleader of my group of friends. Everyone in Fort Worth calls her, “Mama McFarlan.” She is always there to mend any broken heart and give incredible advice.

I’ve even had readers reach out [probably after her rants on my Snapchat!] and ask about things my mom has taught me and one even called them “Southern-isms.” She said, “Your mom just seems like the ultimate Southern mama! What Southern-isms did she teach you?”

I thought that was the absolute sweetest thing and it would be fun to share 5 “Southern-isms” she taught me in honor of Mother’s Day coming up.

1. If You Need to Vent, You Vent to Your Mother

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*excuse the bed head* Hair was a bit messy that day! haha

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I know! I know! A fool vents and a wise man holds his tongue. But sometimes, sometimes you just got to let it out. I’m a people pleaser that bites my tongue and because of that things will pile up, I’ll spill milk on the floor and just want to cry. I remember in 6th grade my mom used to tell me,

“Sweetheart, you will start to get to an age where you will want to vent. Your emotions will pile up and you’ll just want someone to comfort you and acknowledge that you feel the way you do. You vent to me. No one else cares more or understands more. You might offend people if you complain about your day because they are having a worse day, so just vent to me. I’ll always understand.”

This isn’t to say girlfriends aren’t great for venting. I don’t even know where I would be without my girlfriends picking me up when something stressful happens with work, etc! However, no one quite gets it like a mama. They always know your heart and they always know why you feel the way you do. I could call my mom and vent to her that my dryer isn’t working right and she knows I’m not complaining about my dryer. I’m frustrated because I was up late working, someone hurt my feelings and I got put in a sticky situation socially.

I’ve never regretted venting to my mother, but I have regretted holding it all in and then taking it out on other people. Your mom knows your heart, because it formed in her.

2. Skimp Anywhere But Your Face

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Since before my mom and I both found out we had similar autoimmune disorders, she has preached about skincare! When I was little she told me if I wanted to lay out at the beach I had to put on a lot of SPF and lay a hat or a towel over my face. I mean I was 3 soaking up the sun in my Hello Kitty bikini worrying about sun on the face! haha. When I wanted to start wearing makeup she told me I needed to save a certain amount. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just run up to the drugstore with my friends after school and buy whatever frosted blue eyeshadow they did.

Once I had saved that amount from babysitting [it took months! I remember the days! haha] she took me to Neiman Marcus and had a professional do my makeup. I came home with mascara, blush and a pink gloss and was so excited. My mom was actually a makeup artist when she was my age! She has always encouraged my love of beauty products as long as I wasn’t damaging my skin.

“It’s better to not put anything on your face, than to skimp on skincare and wreck your face. Your skin is your largest organ and if you damage it with the sun or products that don’t work for you, it will scar. Skimp in other areas of your budget, but if you can invest in your skin.”

She and I both use TULA and because of this they wanted to create an offer so that you and your mom could try their products for Mother’s Day! The Balanced Beauty Gift Set includes a full-size Purifying Face Cleanser, a full-size hydrating day & night cream and a travel size of the exfoliating mask!

The total value is $102, but for COF readers this week it will be $58. I’m SO excited that they are doing this for y’all because this is a brand I can’t praise enough. It has helped my Discoid Lupus, my mom’s Rheumatoid Arthritis and heals any issues we have so quickly. Here’s how to get a uk medical cannabis card for fibromyalgia.

I’m always writing about them, and I really feel these 3 products give you a great idea of the brand and how it works. I use the cleanser morning and night [it removes makeup perfectly!] and use the mask once a week. I also use it if I ever get a blemish or a flare up. I had a blemish from testing another brand a few weeks ago, put a dab of the treatment on it, applied makeup over and it was gone by the time I washed my makeup off at night.

You can purchase the Balanced Beauty Gift Set here.

3. Your Thank You Note Should Take You More than 3 Minutes to Write
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Y’all may laugh when I share this story, but it’s something I’m most grateful to her for!

When I was little my mom had to proofread my thank you notes before they went in the mail and if they were poor, she made me redo them. She really instilled the value of items in me and would always explain,

“People work so hard to give to you. How would you feel if you worked to give someone a present you thought they’d love and they quickly dismissed it with a two-second thank you? You would want to cry. Let’s start over. Think about why you love it. Think about why you love them. Think about how much they honored you by coming to your birthday party.”

It’s so funny to think back at her telling me this at our dining room table when I was in 2nd grade. But it was a huge learning point in my life about becoming gracious and it gave me a love for writing.

I seriously hope I can instill that in my kids as well as she instilled it in me! I may take a bit longer to get a thank you card in the mail, but it’s always heart felt and you can guarantee I sat for 15 minutes thinking about you!

4 . Keep a Gift Closet Stocked

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*messy hair strikes again!*

We definitely don’t have a spare closet in our home, but my mom does! She has a closet in one of her powder rooms filled to the brim with gifts on hand. I’ve carried on that tradition with a little basket in our closet.

I buy items for gifts when they go on sale and stock it in a basket. That way when I run to a birthday dinner or see someone for a celebration I can easily package a gift for them. I also keep this basket filled with wrapping paper and cute gift bags! Homegoods is great for stocking up on unique ones that don’t break the bank!

4. If You Have an extra $100 In Your Purse & You Aren’t Using it To Help Others, You Don’t Need that extra $100

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My dad taught me to be a hard worker, and my mom taught me how to take the blessings of hard work and give back. My mom has shown me how she takes every purchase and uses it to help others. Whether that is simply donating for a need that need to be filled or using her decorated home to host for others, she has such a servant’s heart! And she does it while loving fashion and beauty! So many times I think there is a negative stereotype of having passions for frivolous things [hence the blog name ;)] and how you couldn’t possibly be selfless.

She taught us how every extra frivolous item that comes in our house, we need to donate 2 more. I think it’s how I have a huge obsession with decluttering and donating, because my mom made it such a priority in our home growing up. We’d come home from shopping for back to school clothes and I’d spend hours going through my closet, creating bags to donate.

Every time my mom checks out at a store, buys an item or treats herself she talks. She talks to the sales associates, she asks how she can pray for them, she makes friends in every store she walks into and bases every friendship on how she can serve them.

I’ve sat at a cash register with her while she has purchased a handbag and gotten to know a sales associate so well that she brought them a meal the next week when their mom had surgery.

My mom may have bracelets piled up to her elbow and a lipstick to match every top, but when I look at her I don’t see a person that is put together and spends time on herself. I see a person who just happens to like frivolous items and spends her life putting time into others.

And honestly, I think that’s why mothers are such incredible human beings. Your mom may not have a love for hosting or your mom may not keep a silly gift closet stocked, but all moms have a heart like no other. And they have this ability to take whatever passions they have [hosting, shopping, running, cooking] and not only use them to serve their families, but to serve everyone they meet. The moment they become pregnant [or adopt!] they become humans that give and invest their time into creating other humans that give as well. It’s such a beautiful cycle that the world thrives off of.

So Mom, thank you for all the sweet little “Southern-isms” you taught me. But most importantly, thank you for teaching me how to take things I love [skincare, beauty and fashion] and use them for others.

I’m so honored to have partnered with TULA for this post about my mom, because not only have I seen them change people’s confidence [mine!] but I’ve also seen them go above and beyond as a brand to do for others. These are things behind the scenes that so many people don’t see in this industry and they are a brand I think every single mom would be proud to not only use, but know their daughter uses as well!

You can purchase the Balanced Beauty Set here and let me know if you have any questions!

P.S. TULA works for any skin type. I have super sensitive skin, my sister has oily, acne-prone and my mom has dry skin. TULA is based off of a probiotic system that balances your skin [just like a probiotic would balance your body]. 

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Romper: Nordstrom | Lipstick: Sorbet | Necklace: Similar | Tom Ford Perfume: Sephora | TULA Cleanser: TULA [c/o] | TULA Serum: TULA [c/o] | TULA Exfoliating Treatment: TULA [c/o] | TULA Moisturizer: TULA [c/o] | Balanced Beauty Gift Set: Link

Photography by: Angie Garcia

XOXOKatey-2

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41 Comments

  1. Alexa wrote:

    Just ordered my Tula kit and am SO excited! You know I’ve been pumped for this post for a few days now (;

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  2. Morgan Slechta wrote:

    I just ordered my Tula kit as well! Can’t wait to use it! Love this post so much I’m going to call my mom now just to say hi!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  3. Hi! I love your blog and your heart! I just read your post about the 5 Southern-isms & the skin care healing your moms RA! I’m 22 and I have RA (I was diagnosed when I was 3) – could you tell me a little more about how TULA was able to help your momma? Thanks so much!

    XO

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Hi Julia!

      My mom and I both get a rash on our face! For me it is the butterfly rash and it honestly just kind of looks like I’m about to break out and then my skin peels. With my mom she gets something that kind of looks like a blister and then it’s a sore and stays for a while. TULA balances our skin so when I have had the rash it has gone away within a few days and it does the same for my mom. I’m so sorry about your diagnoses! I know RA is so hard so I will be praying for you!!!

      xoxo,

      Katey

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  4. Mackenzie wrote:

    Thanks so much for the Tula offer – I’ve been saving to order the products for a while and this was a huge help!!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  5. Cassadee wrote:

    What lipstick are you wearing? Love this post, so cute!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Hi Cassadee!

      Thank you so much for reading! Under the “Shop The Post” graphic under my text I linked it. The shade is in Sorbet. I hope this helps!

      xoxo,

      Katey

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  6. Paige wrote:

    I JUST purchased the mask this week after reading another one of your blog posts about Tula! Now you’ve got me wanting to purchase everything! Gotta see if there’s room in this week’s paycheck for the Balanced Beauty Set 😉

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  7. Ciara wrote:

    This was such a sweet post girl! I’m sure your mom is so proud to have you as a daughter! I ordered my Tula kit and I can’t wait to see how it works!

    http://www.veiledfree.com

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  8. Alyssa wrote:

    Loved this post! I cannot wait to order the Tula set :). I was also looking to order either the revitalizing eye cream or the illuminating face serum. If you had to choose one, which would it be? I am a mother and have a pretty even skin tone. Thanks!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Hi Alyssa!

      Jennifer Anniston always harps on eye cream! haha And she has incredible skin, so I feel like I should tell you that! But honestly, the illuminating serum is probably where I would go! I think it would give you a great glow if you were quickly trying to run out the door! I also mix it in with foundation for a “glow” effect!

      xoxo,

      Katey

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
      • Alyssa wrote:

        Thank you sweetie! Illuminating serum it is…for now:) God Bless you and yours!

        Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  9. Morgan wrote:

    Love hearing about your sweet momma! Southern hospitality and spreading His love run deep in my family as well. I love when bloggers share this side of themselves!

    -Morgan
    How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  10. Ren wrote:

    Hi Katey! Just ordered my kit! Can’t wait to try it out! Been wondering who colors yours hair?! Thanks!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Hi Ren!

      @britanymarshallbeauty on Instagram!

      xo,

      Katey

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  11. Geetha wrote:

    Loved this post, I just got married and moved to California all the way from India and miss my mom but thank god for video calling it makes things easier 🙂

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  12. Tori Ann wrote:

    Katey, Where did you get that stationary set? I love it!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Hi Tori Ann!

      It was a gift from a girlfriend in my community group!

      xoxo,

      Katey

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  13. Katey, you did it again! Every single post is so on point. Please tell me how do you stay motivated-lol! Do you ever find yourself not feeling creative? For the past year I have felt so creative in my blog and so motivated but recently it’s all been getting to me!

    xo,

    Lauren

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Hi Lauren!

      You are SO sweet! Thank you!! And oh my goodness, all the time! haha. I really stay motivated by readers. Just interacting, reading e-mails and writing down requests keeps me going. I have to remember, “I may not feel creative, but I want this post to help someone so I need to kick it in gear!” haha.

      But I also find just taking a step away from technology helps a lot! When I’m not working, I’m not on my phone. I’m the WORST at responding to texts. haha. But I try to go on walks, and turn it off to stay motivated!

      xo,

      Katey

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  14. Kaitlin wrote:

    Hi!
    How long have you used Tula products? How long did you use them before you saw a change in your skon?

    Thanks !

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Hi Kaitlin!

      I’ve been using TULA since before my wedding last year. If you search “TULA” on my blog in the search bar I have lots of different posts sharing how I use them. 🙂 When I first tested I had an autoimmune flare up and it healed it in a few days!

      xo,

      Katey

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  15. Veronica wrote:

    I havent read all the way through yet but I had to just come on down and comment because this quote right here just got me… “Your mom knows your heart, because it formed in her”. your mom is the kind of mom I want to be when that time comes, she is such an inspiration, thank you so much for sharing y’alls relationship and her Southern-isms with us 🙂

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Veronica wrote:

      Ok so now I’ve read all the way through 😀 and I can just hear your mom’s sweet voice when I read those advice quotes

      God bless you both <3

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  16. Kathryn wrote:

    What an absolutely wonderful post! Your mom truly does seem to be a beautiful human being, inside and out. I’m sure you’ll take after those qualities when you are a mother one day! Thank you for sharing 🙂

    xx Kathryn
    http://www.chicandshimmer.com

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  17. lulu alonso wrote:

    This made me cry…my daughter is my best friend. Just ordered the Tula!! Hope my skin looks as radiant as you guys!!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  18. Kacie wrote:

    What a great post, and so thoughtful!! Love all of these, some great things to keep in mind. Your mama taught you well!!

    Kacie
    RegallySoled.com

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  19. Lauren wrote:

    Hello!

    I just ordered the Tula set, but was wondering if you include a product that contains spf in your skin care routine?

    Thanks!
    Lauren

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Hi Lauren!

      I use a sunscreen my dermatologist recommends before applying makeup! I get it from her office but I’ll definitely share when I do a sun care post!

      xoxo,

      Katey

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  20. McKayla wrote:

    Hi! I am looking to order the TULA set, but the individual products seem pricey so when I fall in love (because it sounds like I probably will!) I want to make sure it isn’t out of my price range. Approximately how long does the face cream last you? Thanks so much!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Hi McKayla!

      I would say a bottle of the face cream using every morning and night lasts me about 3-4 months! 🙂 I hope this helps you!!

      xoxo,

      Katey

      Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  21. Amy Beth wrote:

    Oh, your sweet momma and her wisdom!! I giggled and smiled my way through this entire post! The Neimans makeup trip is absolutely fabulous and I can’t wait to do the same for my (please, Lord) girls someday! I can only hope and pray I can instill the same Southern-isms in my babies someday! Love, love, love this!

    xo,
    amy beth

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  22. Such a sweet post! Venting to a mom is the best, because they know us better than anyone. I also definitely need to brush up my thank you not skills, because they always take me much longer than 3 minutes! haha. I am so annoying when it comes to making it sound perfect, thatI will spend 20 minutes on one haha

    BlondieInTheCity.com

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  23. Maggie Ayala wrote:

    I can totally relate to some of those motherly “southern-isms”! My mom has a closet for gifts and I want to start my own soon, and yes thank you cards are always a must! I just ordered my Tula kit can’t wait to try it! Thanks for the lovely post! Happy Tuesday!

    -Maggie

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  24. Michelle wrote:

    Katey,

    This made me all misty! You mom sounds amazing so it’s no wonder all of your followers love you so much! Ask her if she would like a 38 year old black daughter?! Love the post!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  25. Michelle wrote:

    One of my favorite posts Katey. Love the way you love your mama. My mom does the gift closet too ☺️

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  26. Lauren wrote:

    Hey!!
    I LOVE your blog! I always look forward to reading your posts in the mornings 🙂 I just ordered the Tula set and I’m really excited to try it out! Thanks for letting us know about the set!

    Published 26 Apr 16Reply
  27. Jessica Slider wrote:

    Thank you Katey! This post is just so true, mamas know best! I love how I can vent to my mom and her love never changes. The only other person I can find that in is my fiance! Haha! I ordered the Tula set and am so excited to try it! Thank you for your honesty and openness in your blogs, I look forward to each one!

    Published 27 Apr 16Reply
  28. Katie Wood wrote:

    I love this post! Thank you for sharing your experience with Tula, I am very interested in trying it. I know from a previous post that you said you use a Clarisonic, which I do as well, and I was wondering if you use it with the Tula cleanser or with your first cleanser to remove your makeup? Thanks for your advice!

    Published 27 Apr 16Reply
  29. Bailey Jordan wrote:

    Hi Katey! I just adore your blog and your sweet self. You seem so genuine, so THANK YOU! LOVE this post! A few posts ago, you mentioned you and Paul budget off of Dave Ramsey (as there are several different styles), I would love to see a post off of this or how you found it best to budget after college starting out, etc. It may be too personal but I thought it couldn’t hurt to ask!
    xoxo.

    Published 28 Apr 16Reply
  30. Bridget wrote:

    Hey Katey! I just tried to order the Tula set but it’s sold out! 🙁 any chance of them pairing up with you to do another discounted set?!

    Published 10 May 16Reply