It’s no secret, I am a mama’s girl. My mom is my very best friend and we are the same person! In our family it’s so funny because I look like my dad and my sister looks like my mom but we have the opposite parent’s personality. My sister is incredibly independent, total extrovert and if you told her she needed to move halfway across the world tomorrow she’d say, “Sounds great! Wherever the Lord wants me!”
I’m the total opposite. I’m a homebody that needs her mom! My mom and dad live about 15-20 minutes away from Paul and I and every week since we’ve been married I call and beg them to move closer.
My mom was always the ringleader of my group of friends. Everyone in Fort Worth calls her, “Mama McFarlan.” She is always there to mend any broken heart and give incredible advice.
I’ve even had readers reach out [probably after her rants on my Snapchat!] and ask about things my mom has taught me and one even called them “Southern-isms.” She said, “Your mom just seems like the ultimate Southern mama! What Southern-isms did she teach you?”
I thought that was the absolute sweetest thing and it would be fun to share 5 “Southern-isms” she taught me in honor of Mother’s Day coming up.
1. If You Need to Vent, You Vent to Your Mother
*excuse the bed head* Hair was a bit messy that day! haha
I know! I know! A fool vents and a wise man holds his tongue. But sometimes, sometimes you just got to let it out. I’m a people pleaser that bites my tongue and because of that things will pile up, I’ll spill milk on the floor and just want to cry. I remember in 6th grade my mom used to tell me,
“Sweetheart, you will start to get to an age where you will want to vent. Your emotions will pile up and you’ll just want someone to comfort you and acknowledge that you feel the way you do. You vent to me. No one else cares more or understands more. You might offend people if you complain about your day because they are having a worse day, so just vent to me. I’ll always understand.”
This isn’t to say girlfriends aren’t great for venting. I don’t even know where I would be without my girlfriends picking me up when something stressful happens with work, etc! However, no one quite gets it like a mama. They always know your heart and they always know why you feel the way you do. I could call my mom and vent to her that my dryer isn’t working right and she knows I’m not complaining about my dryer. I’m frustrated because I was up late working, someone hurt my feelings and I got put in a sticky situation socially.
I’ve never regretted venting to my mother, but I have regretted holding it all in and then taking it out on other people. Your mom knows your heart, because it formed in her.
2. Skimp Anywhere But Your Face
Since before my mom and I both found out we had similar autoimmune disorders, she has preached about skincare! When I was little she told me if I wanted to lay out at the beach I had to put on a lot of SPF and lay a hat or a towel over my face. I mean I was 3 soaking up the sun in my Hello Kitty bikini worrying about sun on the face! haha. When I wanted to start wearing makeup she told me I needed to save a certain amount. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just run up to the drugstore with my friends after school and buy whatever frosted blue eyeshadow they did.
Once I had saved that amount from babysitting [it took months! I remember the days! haha] she took me to Neiman Marcus and had a professional do my makeup. I came home with mascara, blush and a pink gloss and was so excited. My mom was actually a makeup artist when she was my age! She has always encouraged my love of beauty products as long as I wasn’t damaging my skin.
“It’s better to not put anything on your face, than to skimp on skincare and wreck your face. Your skin is your largest organ and if you damage it with the sun or products that don’t work for you, it will scar. Skimp in other areas of your budget, but if you can invest in your skin.”
She and I both use TULA and because of this they wanted to create an offer so that you and your mom could try their products for Mother’s Day! The Balanced Beauty Gift Set includes a full-size Purifying Face Cleanser, a full-size hydrating day & night cream and a travel size of the exfoliating mask!
The total value is $102, but for COF readers this week it will be $58. I’m SO excited that they are doing this for y’all because this is a brand I can’t praise enough. It has helped my Discoid Lupus, my mom’s Rheumatoid Arthritis and heals any issues we have so quickly.
I’m always writing about them, and I really feel these 3 products give you a great idea of the brand and how it works. I use the cleanser morning and night [it removes makeup perfectly!] and use the mask once a week. I also use it if I ever get a blemish or a flare up. I had a blemish from testing another brand a few weeks ago, put a dab of the treatment on it, applied makeup over and it was gone by the time I washed my makeup off at night.
You can purchase the Balanced Beauty Gift Set here.
3. Your Thank You Note Should Take You More than 3 Minutes to Write
Y’all may laugh when I share this story, but it’s something I’m most grateful to her for!
When I was little my mom had to proofread my thank you notes before they went in the mail and if they were poor, she made me redo them. She really instilled the value of items in me and would always explain,
“People work so hard to give to you. How would you feel if you worked to give someone a present you thought they’d love and they quickly dismissed it with a two-second thank you? You would want to cry. Let’s start over. Think about why you love it. Think about why you love them. Think about how much they honored you by coming to your birthday party.”
It’s so funny to think back at her telling me this at our dining room table when I was in 2nd grade. But it was a huge learning point in my life about becoming gracious and it gave me a love for writing.
I seriously hope I can instill that in my kids as well as she instilled it in me! I may take a bit longer to get a thank you card in the mail, but it’s always heart felt and you can guarantee I sat for 15 minutes thinking about you!
4 . Keep a Gift Closet Stocked
*messy hair strikes again!*
We definitely don’t have a spare closet in our home, but my mom does! She has a closet in one of her powder rooms filled to the brim with gifts on hand. I’ve carried on that tradition with a little basket in our closet.
I buy items for gifts when they go on sale and stock it in a basket. That way when I run to a birthday dinner or see someone for a celebration I can easily package a gift for them. I also keep this basket filled with wrapping paper and cute gift bags! Homegoods is great for stocking up on unique ones that don’t break the bank!
4. If You Have an extra $100 In Your Purse & You Aren’t Using it To Help Others, You Don’t Need that extra $100
My dad taught me to be a hard worker, and my mom taught me how to take the blessings of hard work and give back. My mom has shown me how she takes every purchase and uses it to help others. Whether that is simply donating for a need that need to be filled or using her decorated home to host for others, she has such a servant’s heart! And she does it while loving fashion and beauty! So many times I think there is a negative stereotype of having passions for frivolous things [hence the blog name ;)] and how you couldn’t possibly be selfless.
She taught us how every extra frivolous item that comes in our house, we need to donate 2 more. I think it’s how I have a huge obsession with decluttering and donating, because my mom made it such a priority in our home growing up. We’d come home from shopping for back to school clothes and I’d spend hours going through my closet, creating bags to donate.
Every time my mom checks out at a store, buys an item or treats herself she talks. She talks to the sales associates, she asks how she can pray for them, she makes friends in every store she walks into and bases every friendship on how she can serve them.
I’ve sat at a cash register with her while she has purchased a handbag and gotten to know a sales associate so well that she brought them a meal the next week when their mom had surgery.
My mom may have bracelets piled up to her elbow and a lipstick to match every top, but when I look at her I don’t see a person that is put together and spends time on herself. I see a person who just happens to like frivolous items and spends her life putting time into others.
And honestly, I think that’s why mothers are such incredible human beings. Your mom may not have a love for hosting or your mom may not keep a silly gift closet stocked, but all moms have a heart like no other. And they have this ability to take whatever passions they have [hosting, shopping, running, cooking] and not only use them to serve their families, but to serve everyone they meet. The moment they become pregnant [or adopt!] they become humans that give and invest their time into creating other humans that give as well. It’s such a beautiful cycle that the world thrives off of.
So Mom, thank you for all the sweet little “Southern-isms” you taught me. But most importantly, thank you for teaching me how to take things I love [skincare, beauty and fashion] and use them for others.
I’m so honored to have partnered with TULA for this post about my mom, because not only have I seen them change people’s confidence [mine!] but I’ve also seen them go above and beyond as a brand to do for others. These are things behind the scenes that so many people don’t see in this industry and they are a brand I think every single mom would be proud to not only use, but know their daughter uses as well!
You can purchase the Balanced Beauty Set here and let me know if you have any questions!
P.S. TULA works for any skin type. I have super sensitive skin, my sister has oily, acne-prone and my mom has dry skin. TULA is based off of a probiotic system that balances your skin [just like a probiotic would balance your body].
Romper: Nordstrom | Lipstick: Sorbet | Necklace: Similar | Tom Ford Perfume: Sephora | TULA Cleanser: TULA [c/o] | TULA Serum: TULA [c/o] | TULA Exfoliating Treatment: TULA [c/o] | TULA Moisturizer: TULA [c/o] | Balanced Beauty Gift Set: Link
Photography by: Angie Garcia