Darkening My Hair

red dress

Let’s chat hair. And hair health. And highlights. And new growth. And all the things.

A little over a month ago, I went darker. I’d been contemplating it since before we got engaged. My natural blonde is in between a level 6 and 7, but I’ve been such a light blonde most of my life, that any highlight grow out would always make it look even darker. The upkeep was driving me nuts and I felt like I only loved my bright blonde for about 3 weeks, and then my hair would grow.

But I am not one for change. I can be sensitive to even the smallest change in routine, so I assumed changing my hair would really throw me off. But then Maxi started asking. For the past 6 months she kept asking why I had blonde hair and she had dark hair. Turns out talking about recessive genes isn’t a good enough answer at five. She even got a blonde American Girl Doll when when went to New York because she hoped it would match mommy. Every time I’d come home from a hair appointment she’d say, “Oh mommy, I wish you would match my hair.”  Nothing like your little girl tugging on your heart strings to help you make a change!

So I told my hairdresser I wanted a darker hair color. I asked for lowlights that would match my natural hair color. She did lowlights in between a 7 and 8 because my hair is pretty porous and sucks up color. A month in, and I have loved it! Sometimes I’ll see a photo {I have far too many photos of myself with this blog 😉 } and think, “Who is that?!” haha. But Maxi has loved us matching and I’ve loved the low maintenance of it all. I had some hair loss earlier this year {post you know WHAT} and I have just been on a mission to keep things easy and healthy, and divorcing bleach will do just that. I saw my Dermatologist Tuesday to check on my scalp, and she even commented how much was growing in and the health.

This post seems quite frivolous- and that’s coming from a blog focused on frivolity. But I can’t tell you how many messages I received from other bright blondes asking if I like it a month in. They, too, have wanted to break up with bleach for a bit. I love it! Someone asked me Friday if I’d ever go back bright blonde…and I don’t think so?! Sure, I’d play around with dimension, but I feel very “me” with this. I look more like my mom, which makes me happy…talk about a full circle moment. Changing my hair for my daughter and end up feeling like I match my mom. If anything, the biggest shock has been playing around with my makeup. I’ve gravitated towards different eye looks with darker hair. I’ve also reached for different colors in my closet. While bright blonde, I loved wearing black. Now I don’t love all black and prefer white. But enough about hair, I just wanted to give a little update for those wanting to test it out!

Have you ever divorced bleach? Did you end up going back? Spill your secrets, sister!

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15 Comments

  1. Ali wrote:

    I really love this! Like you my natural is around a 6-7 and I’ve thought about going bronde got awhile! Between having the C, an autoimmune disorder, being 36 and having 3 kids my hair just isn’t what it once was and like you said, I feel like breaking up with bleach would really help my overall hair health!

    Published 23 Oct 22Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Yes to all of this!! After C I had major hair loss and I just kept thinking I baby my hair more than anyone I know and then I ruin it by bleaching it!

      Published 23 Oct 22Reply
  2. Aja wrote:

    I have DARK hair and was blonde in college and when I met my husband, natural for our wedding and babies and now back to blonde and I think I’ll die a blonde. 🤣 My kids and hubby prefer my hair like this and I wear a lot of black- it does look better with blonde! 💕 But to each their own! Natural is for sure healthier. I’ve got to baby my hair so much now.

    Published 23 Oct 22Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      It for sure does!! All my workout clothes are black and I just think, “This looks so strange on me now!” Haha. But it’s been fun to wear other colors like cream I avoided for years. Wild how much a little hair change, makes you gravitate towards other things!

      Published 23 Oct 22Reply
  3. Sara Norris wrote:

    Love the new hair color. It looks great! Can you share who your derm is you speak with about your hair? My mom is looking for someone due to her hair loss post C as well! We would appreciate any help! Thank you 😊

    Published 23 Oct 22Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Of course! I have seen Dr. Laura Morris since I was 12! She’s wonderful.

      Published 23 Oct 22Reply
  4. Winter wrote:

    Thank you for this frivolous post! I don’t think it’s talked about enough. My natural hair color is almost black. Trends had me trying lighter hair colors. I saw how much it hinder the health of my hair. Now I will only dye the few grays I have every so often when I feel it’s necessary. I stick to quality hair products and only wash/style my hair either once or twice a week. I’m not looking forward to the postpartum hair loss that should be coming soon because my hair has been so healthy for the past 1.5 years.

    Published 23 Oct 22Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      I could have talked about this for hours, but had to keep it short because I felt so ridiculous going on and on about my own hair. When I went darker I had so many girls share before and afters with me once they ditched bleach and I was like- wait?! Why don’t we share this more!!

      Published 23 Oct 22Reply
  5. Mary Jane wrote:

    Love this post so much!! I’m also dark haired with a blonde Mama!! Thank you for sharing!

    Published 23 Oct 22Reply
  6. Mandi wrote:

    I took your pic to my hair girl right away! You helped me take the plunge!! I love it! I might get a few highlights around my face to brighten me up a bit but other than that it feels great!

    Published 24 Oct 22Reply
  7. S. Marie wrote:

    Katey,
    Yes, I love it! I know it seems silly to be talking so much about hair but it is the “thing” that strangely makes such a HUGE difference w/female, especially. Most men rarely, if ever speak of having a bad hair day. We have them at least once per month and well, often once per week!
    I only did the bright blond one time (maybe 2?) after my first baby and feel so much better w/a “slightly blond look” The brown undertones showing thru. This way you look good in clothes deemed for “blonds” and also the colors more reserved for brunettes. I think once we are out of our childhood/teen years we DO need a little brightness as our natural color after pregnancy tends to be more “blah” (muted?) with fewer highlights, so I think you go w/low lights till the blond has grown out and once it does you have partial highlights or face framing highlights for the brightness and just a BIT of “the blond look”.
    BTW, we are not as much of a “stand out” w/out the bright blond hair, we are now more subtle, BUT taken more seriously! ;-D

    Published 24 Oct 22Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      Thank you!! I was thinking just that. Let it grow out, get healthy, then I can add a small bit of dimension! Thank you so much!!

      Published 24 Oct 22Reply
  8. Elizabeth Emmett wrote:

    I did the same post-Covid lock down and have not looked back. The maintenance is so much easier, hair healthier, and I can get more compliments now.

    Published 28 Oct 22Reply
    • Katey wrote:

      I love hearing that!! Thank you so much! I keep telling myself I won’t even see the full healthy effects for a year, but I can already tell a difference!

      Published 28 Oct 22Reply
  9. Meredith wrote:

    Katey,
    Would you mind sharing who in FW darkened your hair? It really looks great on you! I am looking for someone to do for me exactly what you did. My current stylist is not really helping me get to where I want to be. I would love a recommendation. Thank you!

    Meredith

    Published 01 Jul 23Reply